1. |
Apologies
03:46
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Mother I'm sorry that you paved a road my feet will never tread
Lover I'm sorry that I never heard the concerns that you had
Future self I'm sorry I never cared for your heart, your body, or your head
And friends I'm sorry that when you grow old I'll already be dead.
I've spent a fucking lifetime believing the only life for me is to die young
The only sure thing is that I'll end up alone
Father I'm sorry that when your mother died I was a thousand miles away
Family I'm sorry that I'm happier with a new home everyday
Brothers I'm sorry that I am nothing to look up to, I smoke too many cigarettes and I always drink so I'll forget that
I've spent a fucking lifetime believing the only life for me is to die young
The only sure thing is that I'll end up alone
Grandma I'm sorry that I never said goodbye but I promise I'll go see your grave if someday I have the time
Sisters I'm sorry for how drunk I've been over the years and for all those nights when I was underage and asking you for your beer
I've spent a fucking lifetime believing the only life for me is to die young
The only sure thing is that I'll end up alone
Mother I'm sorry that you paved a road my feet will never tread
Lover I'm sorry that I never heard the concerns that you had
Future self I'm sorry I never cared for your heart, your body or your head
And friends I'm sorry that when you grow old I'll already be dead.
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2. |
Morning
03:46
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I woke up at eight with the morning sun, because I can't afford to hang blinds from my windows.
I've been shivering all night from the wind piercing the glass.
My eyes are bloodshot before every morning shower when the steam brings me halfway to life.
A cup of coffee would wake me up better but till Friday, money's too tight.
There's not a single day that real life doesn't get in the way of what I want to do,
But there's not a single day that I need help from you
I've lost 10 or 12 pounds in the last few months,
But at least I'll look good when my shirt comes off.
It's always a struggle to decide between a nice meal or a bottle of booze.
I've worked my ass off for 8 long years but apparently, it's been no use.
But keep your hands in your pockets, because I don't need help.
I'll survive on my own or I'll waste away.
Keep your eyes on the ground, I'll take care of myself.
I don't need help. I don't need help.
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3. |
Nineteen
02:42
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I learned the easy way how to shut my heart out and never stay,
Hearing screams in parking lots and reading letters with nothing to say.
I still keep every keepsake from all those brokenhearted eyes,
But I still don't know how to say goodbye.
'Cause you only stay nineteen for 365 days,
Why the fuck would you want more anyway?
I learned the hard way that there's no such thing as no regrets;
You'll always have that one that finds you easy to forget.
I keep seeing myself seen as the life-affirming kinda sort,
But just remember that I'll always come up short.
'Cause you only stay nineteen for 365 days,
Why the fuck would you want more anyway?
Cause you only stay nineteen for 365 days,
And you'll only stay twenty for 365 days,
And you'll only be 21 for 365 days,
Then your life won't matter anyway.
Why the fuck would you want more anyway?
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4. |
Home
03:01
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I left home with nothing in my pockets, because it was all in my head.
I spent every night cold and underfed,
And nothing has changed.
I came home to find that I had been replaced by a west coast sun,
And all I could think of to say was "I can't change where I'm from."
But everything changed.
I never know where I'll end up laying my head,
I just hope that I'll go somewhere I don't feel so dead.
And I never know if the sheets will keep me warm,
I just hope that you'll show so I can fit to your form.
I've shared a home with everyone I love, but I still walk alone every night.
I'll wear a smile every time I see you, and keep the blood out of sight,
'Cause everything's changed.
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5. |
God Bless Ethan Willard
02:35
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I keep saying over and over that this year is it, when you realize I'm full shit.
I have never had anything to offer but a smiling face that just occupies space.
I would love to believe that I'm a stand up guy,
But you have to believe that most nights I want to die.
And still you say
Badadada
Badadadada.
My songs are nothing but minimalist bullshit, just tears on a page cause I'm never acting my age.
Every time I try I get stuck rehashing old lines I wrote in the sand back in 2010.
I have no ambitions to be anywhere else,
But that's because I've never believed in myself.
And you still fucking say
Badadada
Badadadada.
I hide behind the talent of my friends,
'Cause their words outshine mine to no end.
So when you need me I'll be alone at 3AM,
Singing myself to sleep like,
"Come with me, I promise the water is fine. I need something else to convince me I won't die."
Badadada
Badadadada.
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